Balancing Act

I've had a headache every evening for the past week. I'm one of those people that automatically thinks, "Brain tumour!" when I get a twinge anywhere above my chest. But today I realised: I'm just exhausted. Ex. Haust. Ed. (that could be Latin for "a mother's work is never done").

I've been feeling a little spacey, a little more impatient with my kids, a little distracted and overwhelmed with the demands of teaching kindergarten, managing a home, raising little ones, and all the many tasks of living in the country. When I saw that my husband had forgotten to grab the movie rentals (that are now 3 days late) AGAIN, I thought my head was going to explode. That's perhaps irrational, to roar and curse because you're going to pay a late fine.

It's just that, sometimes in your life as a woman and/or a mother, something small like that can topple your precariously-balanced sanity. When the running commentary in your mind sounds like this: "pick up vanilla extract for Violet's birthday party, finish reading assessments for senior kindergarten, fill car with gas, get estimated cost of class trip to principal, remember to bring potatoes to school for bumblebee art, figure out why that duck is limping, where are my keys???, oh, don't forget to pop cheque for swimming lessons in Helen's mailbox", having to deal with getting the movies back to the store just pushes it all past manageable.

Manageable? Who am I kidding? I'm exhausted. I have about 15 tasks spinning in my head at any given moment. When I fall into bed at night, I barely have time to marvel at the enormous accomplishments of the day (as I type, beautiful raspberry cupcakes are baking in the oven...a Martha Stewart recipe, no less!!) before I'm completely passed out.

Blogging is yet another task, albeit a gratifying and enjoyable one, that I've imagined is something I MUST do. Some days I find myself staying up late experimenting with a knitting design because I feel like I should be posting more tutorials. Or as I make dinner, thinking, "I should take a picture of this". I've noticed that I am increasingly perceiving and experiencing a lot of moments through the lens of my camera, or thinking "I should put this on the blog!" Of course, when you have moments like these, how could you think of NOT grabbing the camera?

This is our May long weekend. We are celebrating Violet's birthday tomorrow, I've reserved Sunday to finally get the clothes all sorted and prepare for the GREAT BEDROOM SHUFFLE, and Monday is the day...we'll finally start resuming a sense of order in our upstairs. I also hope to shout less, cuddle and play more, and take each moment as it comes.

And so, as a step towards retaining my sanity and preserving my health, I am going to take a break from blogging on weekends. I need to reduce the distractions in my life to take care of myself. I can be somewhat compulsive about things like this (I feel that since I've started out posting almost every day, my huge following (haha!) expect it, and may not check in anymore if I take a few days "off". Then I wonder...why am I blogging? I need that reminder now and then that it's a FUN creative outlet. It's not a competition, it's not a job (yet!), and it's not meant to add more pressure to my already-full life.

What step can you take to release some of the pressure you put on yourself as a mom/woman?