Now I'm feeling bloated, and my suspicion that I share my son's (and my sister's) intolerance to gluten is staring me in the face...or rather, punching me in the gut.
I've had the busiest two months of my life, and that is really saying something. My skin looks dull and my eyes look baggy.
So, starting tomorrow, I am going to begin my week of CLEAN...clean eating, exercising a bit, and getting into bed by 9 p.m. I'm only booking a week so as not to overwhelm myself!
I have this habit of rebelling against any expectations/restrictions I place on myself. Basically, I say, "F you!" ...to myself whenever I try to eat healthily, exercise regularly, or sleep more. Like my intelligent, intuitive self that is saying "You'll feel better, you'll lose weight and get fit, you might even LIVE LONGER!" is some controlling parent, and my ego is the cocky teenager that says, "You're not the boss of me!!"
Okay, I know teenagers probably say ruder things than that to their parents nowadays. But you get the picture.
I sabotage myself.
Just visit http://www.controlfreakproject.blogspot.com/ to follow my determined path from January 1st...when I declared that this is IT, I'm DEFINITELY losing weight, getting my finances in order, and decluttering my house!! Back then, I had six months till my brother's wedding, sort of a halfway goal. Then it was seven weeks. Then one week. I knew when the wedding was 3 days away that I was sunk, at least in terms of that goal.
My dear friend Maureen is kicking ASS when it comes to transforming herself, and I am so inspired by her, but in a faraway, good-for-her-but-I-could-never-do-that kind of way. The funny thing is, she told me recently that she was inspired by my weight-loss in the fall (when I was tremendously busy and stressed)...ha!
SO. Here I am. It's the first week of July, and the summer is spread out before me like a pretty picnic blanket. And I have set some more goals for myself:
- eat healthy
- go to bed early
- be nice to yourself!!
Wish me luck. Again.