Tuesday, January 22, 2013

wellspring

There are times when I feel certain that the well is empty, that the spring has gone dry, that the conduit is blocked somehow. I am convinced that there will never be water again, that this drought will continue until my unfulfilled life comes to an end. And every day I thirst for it, wanting to have faith but not really believing that there will be relief.

My dishwasher has been broken for half a year. It stopped draining, and I didn't get around to calling the repairman until this week. When he explored its underbelly, he found a tiny piece of plastic in the drain. It was about half the size of a dime, but because of the way it was shaped and the way it was wedged into the drain, it flipped like a valve when the water tried to rush past it, and blocked the flow. Removed now, the dishwasher is ready to go.

For the past few nights, I've felt that the little piece of plastic wedged into my creative spring has been loosened, unwedged, unstuck. My sleeping mind swirls with colour, texture, and more ideas than I can even remember in the morning. I've started writing as much as I can recall in the morning, creating lists and drawings and doodles and scribbles; I cannot contain the flood. 

It is a mystery, where the waters of creativity go at times, and just as great a mystery when they return, sparkling and rushing into empty spaces to drench my spirit. I am so grateful for them at this time, and vow to appreciate them and use them wisely until that unnamed time when they will recede again for awhile. 

I will try to remember this, that this water will always return to me, to soak me in its blessed coolness.

6 comments:

  1. well said ,wise woman that you are.I just said to my DH this am that this month is mine.Such a quiet month to reasses my life.I plan to paint, sort photos, sort fabric(in a relaxing way)and just breathe.Maybe this retreat weekend put a bug in my ear.I love february!!!!!!!!!!!

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  2. Creativity sneaks up on you and rewards you when you need it. I too am making, spinning, quilting, painting and above all loving it. There's a purity to winter that helps me do this. Blessings to you and yours! x

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  3. baby making and early nurturing opens the flood gates on creative muse I think. It is just finding time to give it voice, paper or form that is so difficult at this stage! Most gets channeled in some cosmic way into the new little spirit that nuzzles next to us I suspect.
    let the river flow!

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  4. Beautifully said, my friend. My greatest periods of creativity coincide entirely with my maternity leaves. In addition to what Cargill Witch said, being so present in family life is so enriching. So inspiring. For me, having to work shifts so much of my focus elsewhere, and creativity takes a significant hit.

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  5. W-S Wanderings: Agreed! I am away from home 11 hours a day, Monday- Friday, so any creativity I once had has hit the road. Life is hamster wheel right now. I hope she comes back someday when my kids are a bit bigger and maybe need my attention a little less. Or when I figure out how I can work from home and recover that commuting time.
    Beautifully written, Homesteadgirl. I hope it keeps flowing for you!

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