Sunday, November 20, 2011

Ten Years: Part Two

I remember preparing for dates when I was a single woman. Candles lit, romantic music on, hours to exfoliate, shave, moisturize, paint toenails, try on different outfits. I remember having pretty bras and lots of choices of what to wear. I remember the leisurely glass of wine and the anticipation of romance.

Dates as a married couple are a little bit different.

On Friday night, in the last moments of Margot's nap, I suggested to the kids that we get gussied up before Daddy's arrival home. Jude put on his shirt and tie, and combed his hair over with water. Violet found her "spawkwy dwess". I hopped into a tub full of four inches of water. Margot woke up and started banging on the bathroom door. The handle of my razor broke so I carefully pinched the blade-head to shave my legs. I threw on the same top I wear for every "special" occasion.
When I came downstairs, these two had swept the kitchen floor and cleared the craft detritus off the kitchen table, and put a tablecloth on it. They were so proud of themselves! They giggled as they anticipated shouting "SURPRISE!" when daddy came through the door. They set the table, and broke two wineglasses while they waited for him to come home.

I found the Billie Holiday CD we listened to on the night we met and put on my red lipstick. When my husband got home, we had a slow dance while Jude watched. Then Jude helped daddy light the candles. We each had a dance with our children giggling in our arms.
The kids ate their pizza while we sat with them and told them the story of how we met, and it occurred to me that everything our children will know of love and romance they will learn from us. A pretty tablecloth, candles, special glasses, a slow dance, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes go along way to keeping those embers glowing. These little ones took it all in, especially when we extended the story to include each of their births. The story of how we met is the story of the beginning of our family, and of the generations that will follow.

Once the kids had eaten, we put a movie on for them, and enjoyed our own pizza and some wine, and told stories we hadn't told before. It turns out, after ten years, we have lots more to talk about.


  1. Do you know the Yiddish word "verklempt?" That would be me after reading this post...

    Wishing you and your husband all the best as you celebrate your anniversary... a life-time and more of love...


  2. Oh, this speaks volumes to me. Especially the comparison between then and now. OMG, I've got "the same top I wear for all the special occasions", and the bras have gotten way frumpier during my last eight years with the husband and two kids... This post reminds me I MUST take better care of myself. Thanks.

  3. Sounds perfect. I like the idea of sharing your stories with your kids.
    Michael and I spent last night celebrating our tenth...and while it seemed like things would turn out less than romantic (he playing on stage - me watching) it turned out to be just what we needed.

  4. SO wonder*full. And that's my experience too - having ever-increasing things to talk about with my husband, I mean.

    So many blessings so beautifully shared.

    Congrats again!

  5. Congratulations mama. This post was so sweet.

  6. Congratulations. An incredibly sweet story thanks for sharing.

  7. great story, especially the bit about still having things to talk about! We've been married 17 years now, and I think to what my long ago best friend's Italian mother said about marriage. She told me that it is like a bag of salt, that each year you take out a few grains of salt, by the end of your lives together your still going to have salt at the end of bag, meaning that no matter how much you know and understand one another, there's always more to know :)
    Here's to you and hubby having many more dances together!

  8. Echoing M. Bloom above. VERKLEMPT.


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