Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Stranded

Smiling through it all (photo by Violet)

You know that question, "If you were stranded on a desert island, who would you want to be with/what would you want to have with you?" Well, I've essentially been "stranded" for a few days here on the Knitty Gritty Homestead, and I'm astounded at the room it's given me to think about a few things that don't like to be thought about.

Things are financially tight for us right now. That's one of those things my mind does not like to explore too deeply. I've lived happily in a state of denial for quite some time. I made the decision to work part-time for a few years, after 5 years of on-again/off-again working (between babies). We knew this would be a challenge, as I'm the "main breadwinner" (that is such an archaic term, I know...), but we are optimists at heart, or perhaps we're just really unrealistic.

On the weekend, we accidentally left my camera in the beach bag with some damp towels. Now it won't work. This is another one of those things that does not want to be thought about, as I'd been dreaming of a better camera, but working determinedly to be grateful for the camera I DO have until I could afford a new one. The implications of having NO camera are many, but mostly, I feel the loss of freedom in what I post in this space. I certainly have enough photos in my files to patch something together, but the spontaneity is a bit strained. There have been so many moments where I've risen from my spot to fetch the camera, only to realise that that precious speck of time will only live in my memory.

In addition to this, my husband had a conference to go to in Ottawa for three days. He let me know on the morning that he was leaving that he wanted to take our laptop...our only computer. This sends me into a mild panic, as I live on a farm with 3 small children. I know I can SURVIVE without the computer, and that blogging is not ESSENTIAL to my well-being. But I still had to talk myself down as he drove down the laneway...I was ready to paint my hand red and stamp it on a soccer ball just to have some adult company ("What was that, Wilson?").

About ten minutes later, he called to say that his gas tank was leaking badly and that he'd have to come back to take the VAN to the conference. Say what? This control-freak had had about as much as she can handle, and it wasn't even 7 a.m. I burst into tears and called my sister; hubby arrived, took the carseats out of the van, and drove away again, not only with my connection to the wider world, but also my means of transportation.

The car has had gas tank issues for a couple of months, but we couldn't afford to get it fixed. Now we HAVE to get it fixed. I'm going to be stranded until next Tuesday (without a vehicle). My parents are going to help me get the kids to swimming lessons, and I imagine I'll spend the time cleaning the house and playing with the kids.


To top the morning off, I had NO groceries. I am pretty creative, but I had no bread, milk, butter, fruit, or yogurt. I had planned on going to the grocery store as soon as I got the kids dressed. I am a chronically independent person, and do NOT like to ask for help. So, it was in tears that I called my mom to see if she'd come out so I could use her car to get groceries.

So, the desert island is the Knitty Gritty Homestead. The people I would choose to be with me are here...my three little poppets, eyes open and ready for the next adventure (although maybe Gerard Butler might like to stop by)...the objects I'd bring with me are here as well...lots of wool and a set of knitting needles! I could knit a hammock, a yurt, clothing, a net to trap coconuts...you get the picture. I like this space to be a place of joy and humour. But my blog description also includes the word "chaos", and that's the way things feel right now. I embrace the chaos as a part of life, as vital as joy and humour (though a bit more uncomfortable!)

Please bear with me as I try to create posts using old pictures! I'm staying positive that we'll figure out how to get the car fixed AND replace my camera. I'm thinking of starting a secondary blog...I'll keep you posted as the idea hatches into reality.

Until then, do enter my marvellous giveaway! You only have Thursday left, as the winner will be chosen randomly early Friday morning (EST)! Best of luck!

19 comments:

  1. Oh man! Your camera!!!

    I am so sorry.

    We understand about the money situation. We don't have much over here either.

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  2. Hmmm...what will the second blog be...the "I wish Gerard Butler were my husband, at least he has his own damn computer" blog?
    hahahaha
    xo

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  3. No camera!?!? No CAMERA?! Good heavens woman, I'll lend you my point-and-shoot. You NEED a camera. Being camera-less is just wrong. Would someone please pass me a paper bag -- I think I'm hyperventilating here.

    I *love* how your chaos post is also ripe with humour, joy, and creativity. Plus, it makes me think that my Bad Week isn't so bad after all ;-)

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  4. Whoa. Sounds like you need a stiff drink (if you're into that sort of thing.) Tea, if you're not. Best of luck getting your car fixed. I hope you're camera magically starts working....I'll send my fairies to work on it :)

    Stephanie
    www.simplicitymom.blogspot.com

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  5. Oh! And I sent you an email. Let me know if you received it or not!

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  6. Oh my goodness! Your poor camera, how awful! Maby after a few days of drying out, it might work. My husband fell into a river while cycling, his phone got drenched and someone suggested he submerge it in a bowl of brown rice. He did this overnight and the next morning it was working again:) I know it sounds a little strange, but it worked:)
    Sending you love and light through these trying times.
    Take care
    Linda

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  7. Oh gosh. Don't you just hate it when everything happens at once? THis totally reminded me of the time my DH was away on course and the local water guys flooded our basement. WHile I was cleaning up the water, we discovered that the pressure of the extra water had cracked the tank, meaning that hundreds of gallons were slowly trickling out. They had to drain the tank to fix it, so I was without running water for a couple of days, during which time I stupidly burned my hand by putting it into a sink full of freshly boiled water to do the dishes. The kids were in bed, and my best friend and go-to girl was away, so I was totally on my own. Luckily I was also friends with the local nurse and she was kind enough to make a house call to fix me up. It was at that point that I burst into tears!! Sorry to ramble, but I thought it might make you feel a bit better :)

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  8. Ugh, sounds like a bit of a nightmare. I think I would be lost without a camera. I like the brown rice idea, maybe it will suck all the moisture out. Maybe your days without being able to go anywhere will bring lots of fun memories. Picnics in the living room, lots of crafting, perhaps some letter writing, and lots and lots of snuggles with your little ones.

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  9. so sad about the camera! hope you can get it fixed or get a new one soon!!

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  10. Yikes! is all I can manage. What a week.
    I hope that the purging of information about your chaotic week will bring about a change in your universe and all will be well. It sounds as if you are on that track.....you seem to have maintained your humour and your amazing way of verbalizing your situation/emotion. I am glad to have found your blog, and look forward to meeting you one day in person.

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  11. oh you and i are mirroring right now. see my post about my van..;) the amazing thing is, i have learned that community will see you through whatever life hurtles at you....

    you've got a community to support you anyway we all can...

    hold on, it will get better! (and maybe gerard butler will in fact swing by for tea!)

    xoxo peace!

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  12. shall we meet and commiserate with one another about financial woes...??? so glad you are keeping your head up. and REALLY wish you had come see me when you stopped to get your veggies... I could have at least loaded you up with some extra veggies... if I am rich in nothing else it is this!! thank you for the great clothes and the eggs!! PS - in the past month our roto-tiller has broke twice, the transmission went on our truck and we had to replace several parts on the tractor....

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  13. This is a good time to let some of that independence go and see this as a great opportunity to hang with your sister/Mom as they shuttle you around! Also, a very good time to ask for a yogurt maker for your bday or Christmas (my bias since I got one this past spring)!!!!!!! And who needs photos.....use your imagination with one of the drawing programmes on your computer and create some creative doodles!!!!

    Are you smiling yet?

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  14. And we were a bit pissed off when our dishwasher gave way... again... Luckily Steve is a deft hand at the sink, so we'll manage until our neighbour comes back from his holidays to have a look at it... ;)
    Keep up the good work!

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  15. Big Hugs..I can't imagine being without my camera, my car and my laptop.

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  16. I've been where you are my dear...in so many ways! You'll get through this and *maybe* even laugh about it later! Sending hugs!

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  17. Oh dear, sounds like you've had a tough few days. These things always seem to happen all at once! It's nice to see you're still smiling through it all.

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  18. Ugh, talk about hitting a girl where it hurts. I hope things un-tighten for you soon. I've been there up until VERY recently (like, 2 days ago), though I haven't been stranded quite so literally. Hang in there!

    ("Un-tighten" is totally a word, btw.)

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  19. I heard that if you put a camera (or phone or anything like that) in to a bowl of dry rice, completely covered for a day or so, it can fix it. Maybe it drys it out? Can't hurt to try since the camera doesn't work and it might fix it! Good luck! K

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