I've been feeling weepy lately. I'm weeping about a friend's loss and children living with illness. I'm weeping about the generational shift that takes place when you're my age. I weep when I hear certain songs, and even wept when I saw the trailer for "The Blind Side"...AFTER I'd seen the movie (I didn't even like it that much). When I feel weepy like this, I know that the best remedy is a BIG CRY. An EPIC CRY. The kind of crying where you know your face looks contorted and red and ugly and you don't give a damn.
I haven't done it yet, but keep telling my husband I need to find a moment and the space to open the dams and let all my heart's feelings flow free.
Here's a poem I love on the topic:
Crying
~Galway Kinnell
Crying only a little bit
is no use. You must cry
until your pillow is soaked!
Then you can get up and laugh.
Then you can jump in the shower
and splash-splash-splash!
Then you can throw open your window
and, "Ha ha! Ha ha!"
And if people say, "Hey,
what's going on up there?"
"Ha ha!" sing back, "Happiness
was hiding in the last tear!
I wept it! Ha ha!"
I've been thinking lately about how uncomfortable it makes us when our children cry. We want to stop them, with comfort, or reprimands, or isolation. Violet in particular cries about everything; when it's tantrummy, ear-splitting, shatter-the-window-panes crying, we have to put her outside on the porch till she's done. This isn't a punishment, but more a move towards preserving the aural health of the other people in the house.
But maybe she knows something I've forgotten. Maybe the next time she starts, I'll let 'er loose, and cry right along with her. I know happiness is hiding in there somewhere!
It sure is hiding somewhere in there. I hope the reasons for your unhappiness become fewer in the near future or at least that you find a place and a time to let loose. A good movie might provide the excuse if you need one.
ReplyDeleteCut 'er loose, Stephanie. I know exactly how you feel and the release is so damn wonderful once you get it started. I encourage my girls to cry all the time. Sometimes they will say "I don't know why I'm crying" and I tell them they don't need a reason. And then I just hold them and stay quiet and support them as it runs its course. Then we end up laughing and go on from there.
ReplyDeleteCrying is GOOD.
*hugs* p.s if it hasn't come by the time we go camping- I'll help you..
I know what you mean, sometimes the stress level just builds up so much that a good cry is much needed. Whwnever I need one I put on a good tearjerker of a movie and that does the trick. Hope you can weep soon.
ReplyDeleteOh I've enjoyed a great epic cry a few times this pregnancy!!! It always feels great!!! Go for it!!
ReplyDelete~Samantha
Epic crying has healing properties. May your tears cleanse the path to your happiness...
ReplyDeleteGive 'er!! I can sometimes feel those epic cries coming on , so I warn my husband in advance, assure him it has nothing to do with him, and tell him not to panic when it hits! You'll cry when the time is right, and feel much better for it afterwards :)
ReplyDeleteYou go ahead and cry, girl! My daughter also cries with ear-splitting intensity. It's so true that it makes us uncomfortable. I try to do everything in my power to stop her from crying, but maybe I just need to let her wail away if she really wants to!
ReplyDelete