GratiTuesday: Art Matters

Once a year I gather with a group of wild women, shy and boisterous, artsy and not-sure-if-they're artsy. We spent a weekend together, teaching each other and learning from each other. Sometimes we share our gifts in formal sessions, and in the quiet spaces between scheduled sessions, we teach each other songs, how to cast on, and how to live with joy.

This year I presented a guitar workshop, as well as a belly dance session. I knit a few more inches on those darn socks that seem like they'll never be finished (I started them at last year's gathering...)

Once again, I was drawn to the drumming workshop. This year, I asked the question that had been whispering at me: can I try the djuns? With the patience and encouragement of that sweet teacher to my left, I had it. 

Her wisest words to me when I kept saying that I have no rhythm, that my husband is the drummer, that I can't coordinate my hands were:

That's the past. Why talk about it anymore?

So. In this present moment, I do have rhythm. I am a djun player, albeit a beginner. 

This retreat stretches the limits of who I think I am, year after year. I come home replenished, confident, and certain that the arts will be the saving grace in this troubled world. I am reminded of the magic that is conjured when women gather together creatively in a place of support and love. 

I am so very thankful.

GratiTuesday: Abundance

I don’t watch the news. I haven’t intentionally buried my head in the sand; we just don’t have television. I do listen to CBC radio, and have an occasional glance at the newspaper when I visit my parents.

Violet planted these cosmos in May, from seeds she received as a birthday gift.

My decision to minimize my exposure to the news started when Jude was born, just before Hurricane Katrina. One night, while visiting my parents, I saw some footage of that horrible stadium, of rooftops, or diry water and helpless people.

I was almost paralyzed by a weird mix of emotions. I felt grateful that I was holding my newborn son in a clean blanket in a safe house. On the other hand was the intense guilt I experienced when I heard of women desperately seeking clean water with which to mix their babies’ formula. I was conscious of every drop I used to make sure my baby had a warm bath before bedtime, or that his clothes were clean.

I eventually had to stop listening to the radio, because every tragedy fell on my new-mother ears and all I could think about was the mothers out there who had lost their children violently, or helplessly watched them die for want of food or water.

I have spoken to other mothers who have experienced this intensified empathy upon having their own children. Motherhood connects us to the people on this small planet, and encourages us to see, above everything, the humanity of all humans who suffer.

I spoke about this with a friend the other night (I’ve been feeling those mixed emotions about the abundance of fresh food available to my children right now, in the midst of drought and famine in Africa) and she wisely stated that the key is recognising that I am blessed, and being aware of the many blessings bestowed upon my children. I thought of those faraway mothers every time my children splashed in a lake, drank water from the hose, and blew bubbles this summer.

I can’t make sense of why some of us have so much while so many have so little.

Violet and Margot call them bikinis...this is a bikini fight.

So all I can do, today, is be grateful. For the apples and plums we pull from our trees, the zucchinis that reach impossible proportions, the flowers that thrive in our rich soil, and the water that sustains all this abundant life.

What are you grateful for today?

GratiTuesday: Sacred Time

For the past few days, I've been waking up at 5:15 a.m. I'm learning to trust this new rhythm, and have adjusted my bed time to fit. One morning I did the laundry and cleaned up the kitchen floor; another, I did some ironing and blogging.

This has become sacred time for me: the air is cool, the house is quiet, and sometimes, there are gifts in store:

The view off my porch at 5:30 a.m...8 minutes later, the colours had faded.

It occurs to me that in staying up late, I have missed the gift of early mornings. It has become a time to reflect, to start the day (and the coffeepot) in peace, and to collect flowers for our table.

I love rhythm and ritual, but have all too often found myself swept up in the chaos of raising small children. My spirit knew I needed this now, and started whispering to me to get up and breathe in the quiet air of early morning.

For this, I am truly grateful.

For what sacred time alone do you give thanks?

GratiTuesday: Busy

When I started GratiTuesday, it was to create an opportunity for stream-of-consciousness gratitude in the midst of my busy life. I don't always take pictures of what is on my list, because it usually just flows out as I write it. Gratitude isn't something we should PLAN, but something we should just naturally feel in the presence of the many blessings in our lives.

Here's my list, in no particular order...

.: my parents' generosity in helping us purchase a second vehicle (thus saving my sanity), and in the gift of tickets to see the Lion King at the National Arts Centre. It was unforgettable, for my kids and for me, and something I would never have been able to afford.

.: the gift of music, especially since it's something I can share with my husband, with so much joy. We had our first performance together in a long while, at the Bonnechere Caves, sharing the stage with many other local talents. Later, we recorded a video INSIDE the Caves! Amazing! Visiting with friends I haven't seen in ages, listening to the water going over the Fourth Chute of the river, and seeing the almost-full moon rise conspired to create an unforgettable evening.

.: getting together with a dear friend, whose children love my children. One older, reading child plus four smaller, book-loving children equals a beautiful storytime!

.: creating my first "stock"...piles of hats, felt crowns, knitted snails, and small cotton dolls to sell at a arts/crafts show this coming weekend.

.: having captured this moment: my mother fitting Violet for a handmade dress. I can remember standing on a chair in this same kitchen, my mother expertly holding pins in her mouth as she created a hem. The added beauty of this dress is that the darker fabric is from a dress my mother made for ME when I was in Grade Two. She'll be selling dresses like these at the craft show mentioned above!

.: the joy of a really great, can't-put-it-down read: "One Day" by David Nicholls.

.: always, always, the first sip of coffee in the morning

.: Brad Pitt as Tristan in "Legends of the Fall" which I watched last night AGAIN!

.: the cool nights that follow a wicked thunderstorm

.: bellydancing outside at a local farmers' market, settling back into my body, loving the breeze swirling my skirt and the warmth of the grass beneath my feet

.: looking at my husband in the early morning as he sleeps, marvelling that he looks EXACTLY as he did 10 years ago when we met: hands crossed across his chest, so peaceful, and so beautiful.

.: as always: Jude's freckles, Violet's cartoon-character voice, and Margot's fingers holding a paintbrush.

What I'm getting around to saying is that gratitude is not some polished stone that should be taken out and admired once a week. It's something I want to feel sifting into my soul throughout the week, at random moments, especially when I'm worrying about money, or the mess of my house, or how I can get everything done "on time". Because really: there is abundant EVERYTHING in my life right now.

Grab that button and link back to me: what are YOU grateful for this week?

GratiTuesday in July

It is so bleedin' hot and humid right now. I'm sweating just sitting in front of the computer, moving my fingers. I cooked pancakes at seven this morning before it really set in, and that's the last cooked food my children have eaten today. It's all about veggies, tortilla chips, hummus, and frozen fruit treats when the thermometer reads close to 30 degrees Celsius (and the weather people say it "feels like" 40 degrees with the humidity...)

So, let me think about this gratitude thing. Because I am wicked in the heat. Wicked like Miss Hannigan in "Annie", cooling off in her bathtub full of gin, shrieking "Kill, kill, KILL!" at those sweet little girls.

Okay. Let's begin.

I am grateful for

• Carol Burnette, in her role as Miss Hannigan. Skinny legs, saggy stockings, a boa, those pencilled-on eyebrows...I'd copy her look if I could pull it off. I howl with laughter every time I see her in this movie.

• This old quilt. I made it when I was 19, and it has travelled to many beaches and picnics over the years. It is torn. It is what I lie on when I read outside. And apparently, my children have invented a game called Quilt Monster...the quilt runs around the yard on little legs, growling with menace and a few giggles thrown in.

• The joy of a really great read. This week it was "A Black Englishman" by Carolyn Slaughter. It explores so many themes that guarantee a good read: colonialism, racism, eroticism, marriage, the conflict between classes, travel...I felt like I was in 1920s England, and it is an unforgettable place.
• While I'm at it, why not express gratitude for that skinny little feline that always finds herself in front of my camera? Camino (named for the fair trade chocolate!) came to us as a wild kitten, and I almost gave up on her because she seemed so untameable. Well, let's just say she's been tamed.

• This ridiculous riot of a garden, known as the Rainbow Garden. It is at its peak right this moment, with colours of the full spectrum competing for centre stage. It is breathtaking, eye-catching, and completely full of weeds. Who'd notice them in the centre of all this colour?
• Having a bit of one-on-one time with Jude by letting him stay up later than the girls! We played a boardgame (The Ladybug Game, great for kids 3-6), then drew silly pictures of us out in the rain and played "knots and crosses" (tic-tac-toe). He blossoms under this individual attention that he so rarely gets in the midst of his little sisters' demands.

Now, grab this groovy button, paste it on your blog with a link to mine, then add your name to the GratiTuesday list below! Share the love!

GratiTuesday

It's official: I've created a nifty new button so that you can post it on your blog, and get the gratitude flowing. And make sure to link back here so others can share the gratitude. And in your comment, please leave a link to YOUR gratitude list!

Okay. This week's off-the-top-of-my-head list:

• a rainbow of yarn in a natural basket, waiting to be turned into gnomes and various fruits and vegetables
• the moment when my children wake up in the morning
• the moment when my children fall asleep at night

• witnessing the unfurling of my little girl into a full-fledged water baby

• this niece of mine, with her dappled beauty, unfurling into a young woman: creative, pensive, deep, a wonderful writer already...but still young enough to blow bubbles
• evening farm rituals: checking on the chickens and making sure they're locked up safe, closing up the shed (we think a bear got in there the other night), picking up the scattered sandals, bathing suits, cups, a quilt...the detritus of our busy, busy day
• a salad made from the locally grown produce from our first CSA basket, and the feeling of washing away dirt that is LOCAL dirt...dirt from about 15 minutes down the road
• feeling the love that went into growing, weeding, harvesting, cleaning, and parcelling up the aforementioned food...thank you Kylah, Zach, and Interns! (and you too, Dayvah!)
• a brand new day ahead with no mistakes in it, to be calmer, more patient, more loving, more gentle with my children and with myself

Your turn: give me 5 things you're grateful for in the comments section...next week, do a whole post about it and we'll link back and forth. Spread the thanks!

GratiTuesday

It's been awhile since I had a GratiTuesday post. But this morning I just feel it...the wonder of so many little blessings in my life.

Here's the list for today:

• waking up in time to kiss my husband goodbye, heading out the door in a raincoat, always so gracious about having to get up every day when I get to stay home; the happiness on his face when I whispered, "I love you" from the top of the stairs
• awakening to find that the light seeping through the curtain was definitely rainy-day light, and thinking of all that implies: rubber boots, puddles, blanket forts, and crafts
• the kids sleeping in till 7:30, then snuggling in to bed with me, all vying to fit their head onto my breasts; warm skin, tousled heads, hoarse just-woke-up voices
• Margot's early morning paint sessions...circles, circles, and more circles
• always, always grateful for coffee in my favourite mug
• the squishy sound of a toddler chewing a banana!
• how Margot mixes up her consonants: chicken becomes "kitchen", kitchen becomes "chicken, cheek becomes "keech", chocolate become "cochic"...hm. She might only do this with words containing "c" and "ch" sounds...
• the surprise of seeing my mother's face in my classroom yesterday; she came to Jude's kindergarten graduation unexpectedly!
• the additional surprise of arriving home after 12+ hours at work to find that my house had been cleaned; I guessed that my fairy-godmother had left the graduation, then popped in to scrub the kitchen sinks and tidy up so that when I got home I could just SIT
• the sexiness of my husband unstrapping my sexy Value Village shoes and rubbing my exhausted feet while we watched Harry Potter: The Deathly Hollows AGAIN.

Quick, now: in your comment, list 5 off-the-top-of-your-head gratitudes on this Tuesday morning.

A Local, Handmade Giveaway, and an Anniversary Goal!

Dear Friends and Followers,

It has been a year since I ventured out into the then-unfamiliar realm of blogging. I had no idea where this journey would take me. If I have given a small amount of encouragement, humour, inspiration, and nourishment to a few of you, I have received far more from the many people who have shared their love and encouragement with me!

Your feedback means so much! I'd like to take this opportunity to thank y'all, AND to encourage all you voyeurs (you know who you are) who faithfully read my posts to sign on as a follower, and to leave a comment now and then! Help me reach my goal of reaching 200 followers by my anniversary!

Here's some incentive: an anniversary giveaway! Anyone can enter, but there is a perk for followers: you can leave one comment each day until the closing date on April 17. If you're NOT a follower, you're only allowed to leave ONE comment. See?

Membership has its benefits!

I wrote my first post on April 18, 2010, so will announce the winner one year from that date.

Here's some of what you'll win:

• a half-dozen hand-knit rainbow-coloured eggs
• a wee hand-knit and hand-dyed cardigan and hat set!
• a box of tea from the Algonquin Tea Company, grown, harvested, and packaged locally by my friends and neighbours Steve, Megan, and Kim!
• a bar of goat milk green tea soap, created locally at Opeongo Mountain Goat Farm!
• a few other goodies which will be a surprise!

The focus of this giveaway is clearly:  LOCAL and HANDMADE!

To enter this giveaway you may leave a comment below. If you aren't already a follower, please become one! Followers may comment once a day, every day until I randomly select the winner on April 18, 2011. Comments are now closed.

A Day for Women

Upon watching season one of Mad Men on DVD, one must pause to wonder: how did women (or anyone BUT white men) survive the early 60s? It would be funny if so much of it wasn't true: the sexism in the workplace, the stilted conversations between husband and wife, the husband chatting with the wife's psychiatrist after her appointment. No wonder the women chain smoked and had mai tais and mint juleps in their hands all day long (even while pregnant)...yikes!

My mother spent her career as a nurse, and she remembers how the (male) doctors were gods; they patted the nurses on the heads (and likely on their asses, too!) It's easy from our modern perspective to think that we would not have stood for such patronising behaviour. But if we'd been raised in a culture where sexism was just a given, we may have thought it was just the way things were.

Imagine most men's shock then, when the women's movement gathered force! They must have thought the world was falling down around them. What? You want MORE than to just hang up my hat and be a sexual plaything? Handing me a drink at the end of the day and putting up with my affairs isn't ENOUGH for you? What goals could YOU possibly have? (I am exaggerating: I know not ALL men treated their wives and secretaries/nurses like servants/playthings)...

Today we modern (Western) women can giggle at the bra burning and the slogans decrying marriage and motherhood, and complain about the fact that in some ways the women's movement backfired in that we still do a majority of the housework/childrearing while also, in many cases, being the main breadwinner of the family. We have all the rights of men, and all the same responsibilities and pressures that women have always had.

But today, we can talk about it. We don't have to always pretend that raising our children is the deepest joy of our lives when in reality they're driving us to the liquor cabinet. We don't have to eschew knitting and the "domestic arts" for fear that our "sisters" will deride us for being against "the cause". We can write about the complexities, wonders, and frustrations of our lives with honesty, and hear the support and common experiences of women across the globe.

Today, I thank those brave women who didn't just accept that a woman's ONLY place was in the kitchen or bedroom. I commend their vision and hope, the sacrifices they made to make our modern lives better. I also salute the women of today who are reclaiming the right to stay home and raise their kids, be loving spouses (in equal partnership), to knit and can and sew and create a welcoming home. I salute the women who haven't had children, who work in traditional women's careers and who work in "men's" jobs. All of our experiences have value, no matter what choices we make about how we live our lives.

Today is the 100th International Women's Day, and for most of the women in the world, the women's lib movement is just a distant whisper. Today, let's give thanks to the courageous women who came before us and fought for our freedom, and send a loving prayer to the women who are still fighting, or are too frightened for their (or their children's)safety to fight.

In our busy lives, it's hard to think about what we can do to help women around the world. For today, start small.

Hug your daughters, tell them you love them, and give thanks. Hug your sons, too (because in so many ways, the women's lib movement freed men as well). Call the women that have inspired you and supported you. Send a note to women who have mentored you and encouraged you. Gather with women and make a toast (with mai tais!) to those who marched before you.

And, as always, count your many blessings.

Snow Day

Mother Nature decided that I was not to attend Seedy Sunday today. The snow is so deep that a third of the farm gates are sunk in the white stuff. The van is stuck. The lane way has not been plowed.

When I look out the door on a day like this and ignore the hydro lines and road signs, I can imagine how this place might have looked 100 years ago, blanketed in a quiet cover of clean, beautiful snow. I think about how life just went on for our foremothers; they stoked up the fire, tended to the animals, and nestled in for another day of preparing meals and mending.

So, I am choosing to see this snow day as a gift.

I have extra time to create some order in this house, and prepare food for the upcoming busier-than-usual week. I can spend some quiet time with my girls (Jude's off down the lane way to be picked up for a birthday party). I can maybe snuggle on the couch for a moment with my man.

Maybe we'll go on a deep-snow adventure, or create something pretty. I am so thankful for this day of grace.

Seeds, Serendipity, and Spring Cleaning

Today we're preparing the house for Spring. No, we're not putting out pretty nests and coloured eggs (yet)! The basement has held a winter's worth of wood, and the bits of bark and kindling must be swept up before the inevitable Spring inundation. I'm exaggerating...it's more of a trickle, but enough that we have to use a sump pump to keep the freezer, furnace, washer and dryer well out of the water's reach. The cobwebs also need clearing, the shelves some organising, and the little corners of scariness tidying.

The basement is one of those unpleasant places to clean, especially if you live in an old farmhouse. The floors are rough, the walls are damp; constant vigilance is required to prevent mildew, mold, and mushrooms (I'm not joking). I've read that if the house were a person, the basement would represent our subconsious mind. No wonder they're so often damp, dark, and creepy! Ha! I'm looking forward to creating order in this neglected space. I visit it often each day, to fill the furnace with wood and the washer with laundry. I'm picturing a cold storage room full of bins of potatoes, carrots, squash, garlic, beets, and so on, and tidy shelves of jewel-coloured jars of preserves and sauces. I'm also hopefully planning to try fermenting with the help of a new friend...more on that later.

We're also getting ready to start our seeds. In years past, a dear friend and gardening mentor started all our seeds and shared the gardening work. Since we've moved here, we've had a spring baby that required medical attention, and a garden started from greenhouse (purchased) seedlings. This year I'm starting my own! We've moved a shelf into our kitchen where the south facing windows are, and are taking a look at what we hope will be a cold-storage room in the basement.

The webcam works in a pinch!

If you happen to be in the Ottawa Valley this weekend, please consider stopping by Fellowes High School in Pembroke where the annual Seedy Sunday event will take place from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Vendors, guest speakers, live music, fresh local food, and a kid zone all conspire to entice winter-weary souls into thinking: Spring! I'll be volunteering at the door, performing some music, and selling a few hand-painted cards at a friend's table.

Hooray for the webcam!

And now for the serendipity, that quirky little force that brings good things into your life just when you need them (and least expect them). Some of you are aware that I've had some camera issues lately. I had resigned myself to reducing my normal amount of blogposts, using my mom's camera, and slowly saving up for one for myself, without any expectation of when I might be able to afford one.

Then I got a message on Facebook from a university friend who now lives in Australia. We haven't seen each other in 15 years or so. We've been in touch sporadically. She told me in her message that she is one of those silent followers of my blog, and loves the glimpse it gives her of a life so different from hers. I had no idea she read my posts, and was touched by her words.

Imagine my delight and gratitude when she told me she had a camera to send me! Turns out her dad loves to buy new technology, and sends her his castoffs. She didn't like the idea of me not being able to take pictures of those little daily moments (like yesterday's mental photo of Violet in a too-big, saggy-bum bathing suit and a Santa hat), so is generously offering me one of her dad's cameras!

To say I am touched and overwhelmed by the way life provides is an understatement. So, a shout out to Nikki, away on the other side of the globe, and to everyone who has offered suggestions and encouragement.

GratiTuesday: The Valentine's Edition

I've become quite fond of this weekly perusal through the moments of my life. There is so very much to laugh about, and feel grateful for, even in the depths of February. Here are a few moments that have made me giggle this week.

Planning the next set of stripes on Jude's Scrap Cardigan.

A man who can carry his three kids up the stairs to bed.

Dreaming of tea parties in the potting shed in Spring.

Those toes, that dress, this girl.

Silly sisters in the clothes dryer.

Having help to blow out the candles!

A quiet live concert on a winter's evening in the comfort of our kitchen.

Violet learning to print her name!

Jude's Egg Math: evidence of sorting, counting, comparing.

This bedtime ritual.

Jude's first Lift-the-Flap book: Monsters, and Numbers, and the word "the".

Do share your moments of gratitude in your comment, or a link to your own GratiTuesday post!