tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post800574940415551527..comments2023-11-20T03:37:18.313-05:00Comments on The Knitty Gritty Homestead: Making PeaceThe Knitty Gritty Homesteadhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02890656094078973552noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-1490476785997154832013-07-10T22:14:42.290-04:002013-07-10T22:14:42.290-04:00Just amazing. A friend shared this with me as I w...Just amazing. A friend shared this with me as I was recently discussing my experience nursing our daughter (She`s now 3). I still don`t think I`ve gotten over the stress, emotions, guilt, etc. associated with those early weeks of questioning supply, proper latch, should I supplement,the anxiety of weigh-ins at the doctor. But surround yourself with the right support system and you can get through it - whatever path you choose and know that no matter what - we are providing for our children in the most loving way we know possible. I`ll be sharing this post with other friends as well. Love your blog! Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09221822880489383282noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-21850976796723511012013-02-19T09:53:03.303-05:002013-02-19T09:53:03.303-05:00I know this is an old post (only recently came acr...I know this is an old post (only recently came across your blog) but it really struck a chord with me. My eldest was born hypoglycaemic and although he would latch on perfectly he just didn't have the energy to suck and soon became weak, jittery and was taken to special care where he was tube fed through his nose. He was my first baby and no one showed me how to express, leaving me to become engorged and painful, no one told me how often to express in order to make sure my son was only tube fed breastmilk. In the haze and fog of hormones (this all happened within 12 hours of giving birth) I muddled along the best I could, figuring out the machines in the hospital and pumping whenever I felt full as I wasn't aware of any other way. I was heartbroken, it really wasn't how I'd imagined my first days as a mother. I was in a room at the other end of a hospital from my tiny son and after entering his room a number of times to find him crying inconsolably with staff too busy to comfort him and no one thinking to call me I finally broke down and begged a midwife to tell me what to do. She told me I could persevere with breastfeeding but it would mean my son would be in special care for a good while longer to ensure feeding was established and he was gaining weight but if I chose to give him bottled formula and he could feed on schedule and take a certain amount at each feed then he would be back with me within a day. I wanted my baby with me, where he belonged and so I chose the latter. I'm confident I made the right choice as he was indeed back with me within the day but 10 years later I still feel so much guilt and regret, particularly as I went on to have extrememely successful extended breastfeeding with my other 3 children. We make these decisions in the best interests of our children and then we beat ourselves up about it, even a decade later...I guess that's all part and parcel of being a mother. Really enjoying your blog by the way :) KelliKelli-Annhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14453831222159281966noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-21295549260936547612012-10-29T16:40:21.080-04:002012-10-29T16:40:21.080-04:00Have you tried any diet changes to help with the p...Have you tried any diet changes to help with the production of milk? Stress is caused by multiple factors lack of proper nutrition is one of them. <br /><br />-Zane of <a href="http://www.rawhoney.ca" rel="nofollow">ontario honey</a> Zane Wooderhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10234994003865045370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-9522428268332043772012-01-27T11:47:58.830-05:002012-01-27T11:47:58.830-05:00Thank you for sharing such an important, personal,...Thank you for sharing such an important, personal, powerful story. It brought tears to my eyes. Your kids are lucky to have such a strong mama : )Emilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17061585160412939803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-41349898704517943252011-11-28T16:24:27.324-05:002011-11-28T16:24:27.324-05:00Can I use an edited version of this post in my boo...Can I use an edited version of this post in my book? I'd ideally love 100-150 words if you can condense it at all? This is what I'm asking of all contributors. Please let me know if that would be ok :-) xxxMotherfunkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-80893265474607967742011-10-28T23:01:14.593-04:002011-10-28T23:01:14.593-04:00thank you for this post. it brought on tears, jus...thank you for this post. it brought on tears, just imagining losing my breastfeeding relationship with my son. i have been examining and relinquishing judgements lately ... it is amazing how they come to light when you fear others may be judging you. i was surprised to realize how much i did notice and judge others when i saw them bottle feeding in public. but the beauty and gift in realizing it, is also reminding myself that i dont know their story. idont know their whys and have no place to judge. then i can (try) to let it go. <br />your photo is so beautiful, so much love in your eyes for margot. i am so so happy and thankful to have stumbled on this. really, it touched me in nameless ways.<br />i also agree that we mamas have so little time to mourn when we need to. there is always something else to be done. then little bits of processing the grief come up when we think we are past something ... its a slow digestion for mamas. <br />blessings to your growing girl and you, making peace.lishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06024429835121348711noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-30583613336225525742011-09-19T22:54:00.226-04:002011-09-19T22:54:00.226-04:00This is a wonderful post. I read it a few months a...This is a wonderful post. I read it a few months ago, after you first posted on my bead tutorial. Actually it was my husband, nosing around my blog, linking back to yours, who read this post of yours on making peace with bottle feeding. He is the one who told me that I should check out your blog because he loved how you wrote about your breastfeeding/bottle feeding experiences (With me nursing two babies now he's fluent in breastfeeding talk). And I'm so glad he did!Daniellehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16432840953994166762noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-79258542932161495332011-08-05T09:59:02.963-04:002011-08-05T09:59:02.963-04:00I've just read this and it bought tears to my ...I've just read this and it bought tears to my eyes as a mother of an infant that didn't gain weight with breastfeeding aswell. I can feel your loss. I realise this was written a long while ago and I trust that the pain and guilt has long gone and your beautiful little girl knows just how much you love her. Thank you for sharing this,<br />LisaKeziahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11451032363897495504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-35891178885725881252011-07-14T21:52:01.496-04:002011-07-14T21:52:01.496-04:00I found your blog via Stephinie at Gypsy Forest. ...I found your blog via Stephinie at Gypsy Forest. <br /><br />I just published (but then deleted) a post about a similar loss that Ilive with.<br /><br />I suffer from unexplained infertility. I am a mother to a magical two year old daughter. She was adopted at birth. <br /><br />One of the many losses involved in infertility that I've had to learn to cope with is the loss of ability to breastfeed. I wanted that experience terribly for my daughter and myself. There seems to be no other bond quite like it. <br /><br />I remember quite vividly the judgement I felt placed on me when bottlefeeding her in public. I live in a very pro-breastfeeding area, so it seemed even more acute. I remember feeling isolated from other new mama's because I couldn't breastfeed. New mama's talk lots about nursing. And I couldn't participate in the conversation. If other's could have read my mind, they would of known that I'd wished for a different experience. But in the end, even if our experience wasn't my initial choice. I know it was just as good. <br /><br />My daughter was loved intensely - bottle or boob did not matter in the grand scheme! :) And in a way, there was a part of me that felt liberated or enlightened to be able to know this. What a huge life lesson infertility has been to me. There are so many ways to love and nurture. And just like your precious daughter, my daughter was gifted with the opportunity not only to feel that closeness from me but from other family members as well. <br /><br />Children are resilient. And I truly do believe that they KNOW. A certain wisdom lies beneath their veil of innocence. <br /><br />I've learned that life isn't perfect. Our paths take detours that we often can plan or anticipate for. Only one thing can carry us through these times of suffering and that is love. And I think our babies intuitively know that. <br /><br />Much love to you and thank you for your courage in writing about this often raw and bittersweet topic.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-85218888572152084642011-07-04T17:44:07.511-04:002011-07-04T17:44:07.511-04:00All I can see and feel are love here. What a beaut...All I can see and feel are love here. What a beautiful sharing of stories. I admire you wonderful mamas pumping and caring for your young babies. I crawled to the three month line with my fourth child and was utterly distressed and glum about it. My other guys were so needy, in a way I hadn't anticipated, and being home schooled they are in my care seven days a week, so I had my work cut out cooking cleaning, educating and so on. Between that and loads of medical appointments ( I wish I had been stronger and just refused them ) I just got really stressed out and out of synch with feeding, having to keep getting up in the middle of feeds to rescue someone who had gotten themselves stuck or needed something urgently.... Or there would be a knock at the door... or the phone would ring.... I don't even have the excuse that my child was really sick. I was just plain exhausted, had sore boobies and felt really unhappy. I wish I could go back in time and change what happened, but I can't. *sigh*. Love really is the most important nourishment of all though, and I think that how they are fed comes second to that. Love is the most nourishing elixir, and the greatest healer. Sending you love, dear sister. XMotherfunkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10809370449833738968noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-26152144717633325952010-07-14T17:59:31.531-04:002010-07-14T17:59:31.531-04:00This is a beautiful picture. You don't need to...This is a beautiful picture. You don't need to look past the bottle now or ever. You love your daughter and she is beautiful and healthy. Every child should be so lucky to have such a loving mother. Congratulations to you for your success as a mother, and for such a lovely daughter.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-75114042662740382602010-07-11T13:53:41.782-04:002010-07-11T13:53:41.782-04:00You are an amazing Mom. I completely know the torm...You are an amazing Mom. I completely know the torment of your decision. Although my now one-year-old is breastfeeding successfully, it was not easy to get here. Esmae was born 3 1/2 months premature, so she was fed by tube for the first three months of her life, while I pumped 6-8 times a day, living for the time that little mouth would actually grow to be big enough to try nursing. Everything about her birth and first few months of life were NOT what I expected. Midwife... water birth... cuddling and nursing immediately after delivery... all out the window. I didn't get to hold her until she was a week old. When we did try nursing, she was still pretty weak and hadn't developed the desire to suck. We were encouraged (heavily!!) by the nurses to allow her to use a bottle in order to develop that skill. I was obstinate, with all of the concerns you mentioned about bottle feeding, but after much bad breastfeeding advice and little success, gave in. It was a crushing defeat. I can remember once, sitting at her bedside, pumping while I watched her meal of previously expressed milk trickle down her feeding tube directly into her belly. Soon after she started "succesfully eating" with a bottle, we were discharged from the hospital and I sought further help, still pumping and still determined. I was determined to feed her breastmilk and sooooooo tired of that damned breast pump! Thankfully, I found some amazing support and with much afore mentioned stubbornness, and just as I was about to give up, she latched! It was a long struggle, physically and emotionally. I well remmebr those early days of bottle feeding her in public, my eyes flitting around, just DARING some well-meaning person to say something about how important breastfeeding is... I appreciate your decision to choose what works for your little one, and I'm happy that you have come to acceptance that your best is good enough, and I am certain your daughter knows that she is loved by you and that entire community you mention. She is nourished in many ways.<br />Jen Leis, jenleis@bell.netAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-29265118365786143272010-06-24T16:26:11.990-04:002010-06-24T16:26:11.990-04:00You're right - you did your absolute best, and...You're right - you did your absolute best, and that is the key line in this post for me. No-one should ever, ever ask more than that of any mother - and we shouldn't ask it of ourselves! Your family has embraced the anticipated bottle "cloud" to create a beautiful silver lining for you all. The grief of a forced weaning, at whatever the child's age, is like no other, and many of us here share it with you, for a variety of reasons. Peace to us all - we did our absolute best.Lizzy Annnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-17201784496216758882010-06-22T08:59:45.112-04:002010-06-22T08:59:45.112-04:00Here I am again.
My fourth baby, now 2 months.
Ver...Here I am again.<br />My fourth baby, now 2 months.<br />Very shortly after I last posted, she began the inconsolable crying, and of course I knew she was hungry. Did it all once again, baby gained just a pound in her first nearly 2 months, itself not nearly as upsetting as the crying, the crying...<br />I've made "the shift" and now she is bottle fed as much supplement as she comfortably wants, and is happy.Square Foot Suburbiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04720734053502225250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-6572728906830885532010-05-25T09:54:53.278-04:002010-05-25T09:54:53.278-04:00WOW. I read this post with tears in my eyes for t...WOW. I read this post with tears in my eyes for the beautiful strength you have to share this story and the photos.Kylahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09706810135400765643noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-90899608509787583552010-05-24T23:24:10.851-04:002010-05-24T23:24:10.851-04:00I still grieve the loss of not being able to exclu...I still grieve the loss of not being able to exclusively breast feed my babies (due to low supply, which the second time around was made much better by Domperidon). I am one of those women whose babies dehydrate, and I leave the hospital with bottles, formula and breast pump. I thought the second time around that I was better prepared to be able to be successful at breastfeeding exclusively, but it wasn't to be, I remember crying my eyes out when the nurse told me that my baby was dehydrated in the hospital and I'd have to start giving her formula. There's something primal about being able to feed your baby at breast...it's a hard one...I feel the pain, and while I try to have a positive outlook on formula, (thank god it's there or some babies would be "failure to thrive"), it is still such a huge loss in my heart. At least by talking about it openly, we can create more empathy for women who have to bottlefeed...<br />I know when I see a woman bottlefeeding, I cast no judgement upon her...nourishment comes in many forms, the most important being love!<br /><br />Great post Steph!<br />MaureenTwigandToadstoolhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03408437451671761958noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-62118362283429736422010-05-24T23:03:15.512-04:002010-05-24T23:03:15.512-04:00Mama friend, thank you for sharing your story...yo...Mama friend, thank you for sharing your story...your refreshing honesty is such a blessing to me. <br /><br />You are beautiful, love-filled, love-giving and strong. You sacrifices, tears and pouring out of yourself for your family is what will truly withstand the test of time. Anyone who judges hasn't walked even an inch in your shoes. Sending love and hugs my dear!Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10166165428750661537noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-62888836547487563212010-05-24T22:29:18.388-04:002010-05-24T22:29:18.388-04:00What a powerful message, brings tears to my eyes.....What a powerful message, brings tears to my eyes...thank you for sharing...SUCH LOVE...<br /><br />KKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07993491069604129351noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-67262290761284117052010-05-24T22:13:06.333-04:002010-05-24T22:13:06.333-04:00Thank you Stephanie for sharing. I have faced sim...Thank you Stephanie for sharing. I have faced similar circumstances, including an occasion where my baby had surgery in early infancy and my supply couldn't meet his need. I am now experiencing challenges with my newborn relating to supply again. It is too often assumed that I am under-educated or lack support, and if only I would try harder or avail myself of even more unwanted advice, I could be "successful" at breastfeeding. <br />I do not grieve my breastfeeding challenges as much as I grieve the judgment and lack of true support from some in my communities. <br />I wish everyone who dares make judgments could really, really know. <br />It is helpful for me to hear that others also recognize how alienating and hurtful judgment can be. We really are all doing our best.Square Foot Suburbiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04720734053502225250noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-15046815042544224762010-05-24T21:41:58.525-04:002010-05-24T21:41:58.525-04:00Stephanie, while I can't understand your perso...Stephanie, while I can't understand your personal grief, I can relate to it somewhat. My grief is and will always be with my first born who was formula, bottle-fed starting at 8 days old when he was taken to the ER for severe dehydration and failure to thrive. I remember reading articles about breast is best and crying so hard because I knew all so well that it was, and every time I saw a statement on breastfeeding, I felt that I had let my baby down and failed as his mother. Even though I still grieve, I now know that, just like you, I did the best I could at the time, but it does not make "accepting" it very easy. Thanks for your candid post, and trust that you are not alone.Emmanuelle Louise Goodierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18257414763440907658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-8811866588816598922010-05-24T21:27:46.599-04:002010-05-24T21:27:46.599-04:00What a heart wrenching post mama. You are such a b...What a heart wrenching post mama. You are such a beautiful, soulful woman!Ariellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11187228073968629552noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-33375345155389948602010-05-24T20:25:32.412-04:002010-05-24T20:25:32.412-04:00all I can say is thank you for allowing me to be ...all I can say is thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives.We treasure these moments in our hearts forever.donnakeonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07960715231833670973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-9446298111543323302010-05-24T20:07:52.921-04:002010-05-24T20:07:52.921-04:00LOVE LOVE LOVE- All you need is love.
Too personal...LOVE LOVE LOVE- All you need is love.<br />Too personal to comment here- will send an email. Thank you for your beautiful honesty.Lanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06592532417364025009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-3026697934274186592010-05-24T19:12:15.825-04:002010-05-24T19:12:15.825-04:00This blog will be shared far and wide and I hope a...This blog will be shared far and wide and I hope all of the idealistic, bf warriors read it and gain some much-needed insight and empathy. Bravo to you for speaking your truth...slowly but surely making peace when the only choice you had was to do the best you could at the time. We all can do brilliant things in retrospect. Shine on, Mama!<br />Frankly, you need not explain the choices you made. All I see is love, love, love.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09144122216662029672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825862861569609473.post-4926526791803696492010-05-24T15:38:23.217-04:002010-05-24T15:38:23.217-04:00Such a beautiful photo, capturing your powerful bo...Such a beautiful photo, capturing your powerful bond, which is certainly no less pure because of what Margot's nourishment is coming from. All that comes shining through the photo is that she is clearly nurtured on love, as she has been every step of the way. Margot has chosen her family well!!! Stephanie, your honesty is uplifting. Thank you.W-S Wanderingshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06242784517253760863noreply@blogger.com